If Return of Jafar is canon, then Iago & Aladdin are friends, even though we know Iago is a bad bird

People of a certain age know a few things: Pogs are cool, the best N64 game is Goldeneye, and Aladdin is the best Disney movie. Hands down, no questions asked, shut up. But did you think that all things Aladdin were awesome? Because I only need three words to tear your argument apart: Return of Jafar.

My friends, there are numerous reasons to relegate this direct-to-video travesty of a sequel to the dumpster fire of history: terrible animation, short run time, baffling story, no Robin Williams, and fully half of the songs are sung by Gilbert Gottfried.

But worst of all, if we are to consider this film to be canon, then we would have to believe that Iago and Aladdin can be friends, even though we know that Iago is a bad bird.

Listen, I get that people change and that alliances can shift. That’s called character development. I’m not stupid. But neither is Aladdin, and there’s just no way that Al would be willing to let bygones be bygone with this little vile betrayer who, up until this point, had done everything in his power to kill Aladdin and all who he held dear.

In fact, if it weren’t for Iago’s plan to assassinate the Sultan and marry Jasmine, Jafar would have expatriated at the end of the second act. Thanks for that by the way, fucko.

Of course, if we were to believe the events of Return of Jafar, not only has Aladdin become his friend, but he’s willing to jeopardize his relationship with Jasmine and his career as the Sultan’s royal vizier to protect that disgusting little bird.

Now I only have two words for you: Fucking bullshit.

And remember when Iago used all of the power and influence he had accumulated by the end of the film to do this to Jasmine’s father?

Because I guess Jasmine doesn’t.

Listen, I get it. Jafar is a bad guy. And now that he is a genie of unlimited power, he really doesn’t need an animal sidekick anymore.

But does that mean that Iago is automatically a good guy now?

I mean, sure, let’s do a redemption story about Iago. I’m willing to buy that. You know, build up some conflict, have him try to earn his new friends’ trust, and then finally prove himself in the end. But Return of Jafar goes a step too far and actually turns Iago into the protagonist. For shit’s sake, he’s the one who ends up defeating Jafar — not Aladdin, not the Genie, not even that fucking monkey. Iago. The bird. Who we know is bad.

I’m sure the power brokers at Disney had their reasons for turning the disgusting bird who we know is bad into a comedic animal companion who loves car insurance and 9/11 jokes. But whatever those reasons may be, they pale in comparison to the need to maintain the canonical badness of Iago the bird who is bad.

Like if you agree that Return of Jafar and the subsequent TV series, Aladdin: The TV Series Where Iago Is A Good Bird, Even Though We Know Better should no longer be considered part of the Disney canon!